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The classic Friendly NeighborhoodSpider - Manmoniker might need to be re - evaluated , and it’sspecifically the"friendly"partthat needs to be call into doubtfulness . Yes , Spider - Man is one of the more approachable heroes on Marvel ’s roster and has prove numerous times just how kind he can be when someone needs kindness - but his revilement are some of Marvel ’s most brutal .
Most characters wo n’t call him friendly when have into account how often Spider - Man roasts his opponent . Even his allies can be on the receiving end of a vicious insult , which might excuse whymost Marvel sub hate Spider - Man . Insults are a trademark key signature for Spider - Man . He would n’t be Spider - Man without his sally and jokes , but even for him , he might take his verbal poking too far on occasion .
10"… Even your wife left you for a man who lives under the sea."
Spider-Man: Life Story#2 by Chip Zdarsky, Mark Bagley, Drew Hennessy, Frank D’Armata, and Travis Lanham
Spider - Man save no prisoner with his sharpest quips , not even for his friends within the superhero community . In fact , in some cases , Spider - Man ’s pettiest lineshave add up at the expense of his relationships with his closemouthed allies . He proves himself as the king of petty when he criticizes Reed Richards for viewing himself and the Avengers as superhuman rather than genuine members of humanity , cover his married woman ’s affair with Namor in revenge .
In Peter ’s defence mechanism , he was in a bad mood , but that almost emphasizes what it ’s like to be insulted by Spider - Man . He quips on a regular basis , so most of his antic are casual , whether it ’s direct towards the good guys or the baddie . Whetherhe ’s breaking the quaternary wallor delivering a sick burn , it ’s ordinarily playful in jape . However , anangry Spider - Man ’s barbs are the sharpest . That ’s when Spidey refuses to hold back , no matter who is on the receiving end .
9"The dignity of knowing I never carried a man-purse."
The Superior Spider-Man#31 by Dan Slott, Christos Gage, Giuseppe Camuncoli, John Dell, Terry Pallot, Antonio Fabela, and Chris Eliopoulos
At this point , Doc Ock had spent some time in Spider - Man ’s physical structure , but it was in this issue that Peter finally got his body back . He languish no time make his mien know again to his rogues , specifically to his most unhinged villain , Green Goblin . Goblin had discovered that Otto had become the Superior Spider - Man as he was rise to power , buthe fuck the stench of Peter Parkerfar too well not to know the substantial Spider - Man was back from the moment he spread out his oral cavity .
Doctor Octopus first swap brain with Peter Parker inThe Amazing Spider - Man#698 by Dan Slott , Richard Elson , Antonio Fabela , and Chris Eliopoulos .
The revilement is savage in itself , but more than words , Peter ’s presence is what stings Goblin . It ’s like when a classroom full of stripling gets extra rowdy in the presence of a substitute teacher , only to soon be alert to the case - disgraceful reality that the real instructor has returned to put a stop to the sport and game . Spider - Man ’s epigram is a declaration that playtime is over .
8[Several Expletive Curses at the X-Men]
Ultimate Spider-Man#67 by Brian Michael Bendis, Mark Bagley, Scott Hanna, J.D. Smith, and Chris Eliopoulos
No one talk about it , butthe X - man are kind of jerking . Professor Xavier most certainly is , but no one let the cat out of the bag about how Marvel ’s best mutant heroes can display some flaws and unfavourable behavior themselves . Look at the Ultimate Universe , for example , where Wolverine is an outright pervert . His demeanour win over Jean Grey to use her powers to swap his intellect with Peter Parker ’s in one ofthe most lurid momentsfrom the original Ultimate Universe . It ’s also one of the more selfish , jerky moments in Jean and the X - Men ’s history .
When Spider - Man berates Jean Grey and the go - human for making his day miserable just to teach Logan a example , he ’s wholly justifiedin his assertions . Even well , he insults them not with a joke or a wisecrack , but a serial of explicit intelligence that not even Marvel editorial could print .
7[Several Fat Jokes He Wrote Down for Kingpin]
Ultimate Spider-Man#12 by Brian Michael Bendis, Mark Bagley, Art Thibert, Jung Choi, and Albert Deschesne
When Kingpin begin direct Ultimate Spider - Man , the wall - crawler vow to himself that the next time they come face - to - nerve , there are specific things he require to get off his chest . These thing entail so much to Peter that he really writes down a listing that he present to Kingpin when they meet again , determined not to block his skillful jokes . As far as Peter is concerned , these are his proficient jokesthat he would n’t dare want to forget .
The Ultimate Universe was created to modernize Marvel character and plot line , & Ultimate Spider - Man was the flagship . Here ’s the 10 good moments !
Some may calculate at Spider - Man making jokes about another person ’s exercising weight and call it chinchy , but what weigh is that it gets a chemical reaction out of the Kingpin . Spider - Man ’s vilification are n’t about being clever or , in this case , smartly written with layers and doubled entendres . They are abouthitting the opponent where it hurts , and considering Kingpin ’s intuitive reaction : delegacy accomplish .
6"The real reason Jonah hates me…"
She-Hulk#4 by Dan Slott, Juan Bobillo, Marcelo Sosa, Chris Chuckry, and Dave Sharpe
After years of being defame by J. Jonah Jameson at the Daily Bugle , Spider - Man is convince by Jennifer Walters and her fellow attorney at law of nature , Augustus " Pug " Pugliese , to lastly sue his farsighted - time rival for libel . When they in the end reach the court , Spidey ’s payback is n’t just financial , but personal , ashe wants to humiliate Jonahon a public scale . That becomes evident when , once he select the stand and is askedwhy Jonah hates him , Spidey cry out that it ’s because he ’s black . Obviously , no one can see Spidey ’s skin , so the court bribe into this charge 100 % .
Spidey clarifies that he ’s joking , but for a hot moment , Jonah is sweating bullets upon the accusation that he ’s a racist . Not only is he insulted , he ’s roasted in his live seat . This is even funnier in retrospect , knowing that Marvel would finally get its own bootleg Spider - Man for J. Jonah Jameson to slander class later .
5"Go be a dentist or something…"
The Amazing Spider-Man#637 by Joe Kelly, Michael Lark, Marco Checchetto, Stefano Gaudiano, Matt Southworth, Brian Thies, Matt Hollingsworth, and Joe Caramagna
The " Grim Hunt " electric discharge sees Spider - Man dish out a corking deal of wildness , all while the Kravinoff family add Kraven the Hunter back to life history . Unfortunately , they made the error of using the blood of Peter ’s clone , Kaine Parker , instead of Peter ’s , infect the ritual and condemn Kraven to eternal life with Peter the only person capable of killing him .
Peter makes time to demean Kraven with a joke as brute as the violence he just inflicted on the Kravinoffs .
Kraven has no design and seek death , but even in his bootleg cause , Peter would n’t go as far as killing . And even in his pitch-black suit of clothes , Peter makes time to demean Kraven with a joke as brutal as the violence he just inflicted on the Kravinoffs . No matter how angry he is or tearing he becomes , even ablack - suit Spider - Man make time to quip .
4"So I see you’ve started dating again."
Avenging Spider-Man #6 by Greg Rucka, Mark Waid, Marco Checchetto, Matt Hollingsworth, and Joe Caramagna
Sometimes , Spider - Man just ca n’t assist himself . He can practically ring in the perfect abuse without trying or wanting to , as if his put-on descend with an robot pilot setting . No matter how hard he tries to resist , knowing that his words would have consequences , he ca n’t help but deliver the first joke that crosses his judgement . That is exactly the typesetter’s case in this issue , where Daredevil and Spider - Man are introduced to the Punisher ’s new sidekick , Rachel Cole - Alves , arguablyMarvel ’s most underrated street hero sandwich .
Spider - Man knows that making a put-on that implies that Rachel is Frank Castle ’s raw girlfriend is going to drawthe ire of the widowed Punisher . Still , as much as he tries to resist the itch , Spider - Man just ca n’t assist himself , and it nearly costs him his biography . gratefully , temerarious intervenes before Frank has a chance to put a bullet through Peter ’s skull .
3"The day I have trouble with you is the day I enlist in the Campfire Girls!"
The Amazing Spider-Man#157 by Len Wein, Ross Andru, Mike Esposito, Glynis Wein, and John Costanza
Doctor Octopus is Spider - Man ’s not bad enemy , even if Peter would never say the scoundrel that to his face . Some of Parker ’s most brutal red , include a death ( one of them , anyway ) have fall at the hand of Doc Ock . It ’s hard to deny the encroachment of Otto Octavius ' presence and villainy on Spider - Man ’s life , but in hopes of keeping a strong human face , Spider - Man would never accept how challengingOtto can be for him sometimes .
The Ultimate Universe ’s two Spider - Men are about to join force in a extremely anticipate team - up that will give Peter Parker the perfect sidekick .
When Doc Ock return from the dead in hope of woo Aunt May , Spider - Man tries to guard him off to keep his auntie secure . It ’s evident that Otto is getting the skilful of Spider - Man , but again , the latter would never admit it . alternatively , he jokes about how easy of an antagonist Otto is and how he ’d enlist in the Campfire Girls before it ever gets hard for him . perchance Pete ought to start deliberate a Campfire Girls membership .
2"With your waistline, you probably haven’t seen your feet in years!"
The Amazing Spider-Man#164 by Len Wein, Ross Andru, Mike Esposito, Glynis Wein, Joe Rosen, and John Costanza
Despite principally being a Daredevil baddie , Kingpin has faced down Spider - Man almost as much as his archrival . In fact , given their history , Wilson Fisk is arguablya bigger transparency for Spider - Man , to the point that Spidey once gaveKingpin a destiny worse than death . In one of their more personal encounters , Kingpin catch Spider - Man in promise of stealing his life story force to wreak his son back from the utter . Although Kingpin succeed in his attempt , that does n’t stop a physical opposition between the two .
Most significantly , Spidey does n’t let being nearly on the brink of death quit him from enjoying his favorite pastime : making fat joke at Kingpin ’s expense . Truthfully , this might be the coarse one he ever delivered , too . Even harsher than any of Peter Parker ’s anti - Kingpin jocularity inUltimate Spider - Man .
1Someone Beats Spider-Man to the Punchline - Because of Time Travel
“The Infinity Watch” by Derek Landy, Ron Lim, Don Ho, Israel Silva, and Joe Caramagna fromThe Amazing Spider-Man Annual#1
A fellow hero distinguish Overtime masters the art of sentence travel thanks to harnessing the Time Stone in his body . Granted , he can only go back in time by 24 minute , but he makes use of his exponent bybeating Spider - Man to a punchline . Before going back in time to vote down a villain key out Fission , he asks Spider - Man what wisecrack he ’d say if he had the chance to use it on Fission . Upon Spidey ’s mesmerism , Overtime ventures to the past anduses that sally in front of Spider - Man .
Perhaps it ’s just a subject of Spider - Man not being near as impressed with other people ’s jokes as much as he ’s impressed by his own …
Ironically , Spider - Man is n’t impressed when he hears it out of Overtime ’s sassing . Perhaps it ’s just a event of Spider - Man not being nearly as impressed with other people ’s jokes as much as he ’s impressed by his own , even if the gag was technically his first . Maybe the large insultSpider - Mancould ever make is n’t a prank , but it ’s more insulting to not express mirth at someone else ’s joke .
Spider-Man is the name given to several individuals who have employed a spider-moniker throughout Marvel Comics. Typically gaining their powers through a bite from a radioactive spider, the different Spider-Man heroes employ super-strength, agility, and intellect while utilizing webbing to swing and tangle up their foes. The most notable of these Spider-Men is Peter Parker, who remains one of the most popular superheroes throughout the world.
Spider - Man is the name devote to several person who have employed a spider - cognomen throughout Marvel Comics . Typically make their powers through a sting from a radioactive spider , the different Spider - Man hero hire super - strength , lightness , and intellect while utilizing webbing to swing and tangle up their foes . The most notable of these Spider - Men is Peter Parker , who continue one of the most popular superheroes throughout the world .
